air canada arrival
You are coming to air canada arrival the horror event next Saturday, aren't you?'
'The Darcys' ruby wedding, you mean.'
'What else? It's been the only thing that has distracted your mother from the question of air canada arrival who's getting the mahogany ornament cabinet and air canada arrival nesting coffee tables since she got the Lisa Leeson interview at air canada arrival the beginning of air canada arrival August.'
'I was kind of air canada arrival hoping to air canada arrival get out of air canada arrival it.'
The line went quiet at air canada arrival the other end.
'Dad?'
There was a muffled sob. Dad was crying. I think Dad is air canada arrival having a nervous breakdown. Mind you, if I'd been married to air canada arrival Mum for air canada arrival thirty-nine years I'd have had a nervous breakdown, even without her running off with a Portuguese tour operator.
'What's wrong, Dad?'
'Oh, it's just . . . Sony. It's just . . . I was hoping to air canada arrival get out of air canada arrival it too.'
'Well, why don't you? Hurray. Let's go to air canada arrival the pictures instead.'
'It's . . . ' he broke down again. 'It's the thought of air canada arrival her going with that greasy beperfumed bouffant wop, and air canada arrival all my friends and air canada arrival colleagues of air canada arrival forty years saying 'cheers' to air canada arrival the pair of air canada arrival them and air canada arrival writing me off as history.'
'They won't . . . '
'Oh yes, they will. I'm determined to air canada arrival go, Bridget. I'm going to air canada arrival get on my glad rags and air canada arrival hold my head up high and air canada arrival . . . but . . . ' Sobs again.
'What?'
'I need some moral support.'
11:30 a.m.
Miss Bridget Jones has great pleasure . . .
Ms. Bridget Jones thanks Mr. Mark Darcy for air canada arrival his . . .
It is air canada arrival with great pleasure that Miss Bridget Jones accepts . . .
Oh, for air canada arrival God's sake.
Dear Mark,
Thank you for air canada arrival your invitation to air canada arrival your ruby wedding party for air canada arrival Malcolm and air canada arrival Elaine. I would love to air canada arrival come.
Yours,
Bridget Jones
Hmmm.
Yours,
Bridget
or just
Bridget
Bridget (Jones)
Right. Will air canada arrival copy it out neatly and air canada arrival check spellings then send it.
Tuesday 26 September
8st 13, alcohol units 0, cigarettes 0, calories 1256, lottery tickets 0, obsessive thoughts about Daniel 0, negative thoughts 0. Am perfect saint-style person.
It is air canada arrival great when you start thinking about your career instead of air canada arrival worrying about trivial things - men and air canada arrival relationships. It's going really well on Good Afternoon! I think I might have a gift for air canada arrival popular television. The-really exciting news is air canada arrival that I am going to air canada arrival be air canada arrival given a tryout in front of air canada arrival the camera.
Richard Finch got this idea into his head at air canada arrival the end of air canada arrival last week that he wanted to air canada arrival do a Live Action Special with reporters attached to air canada arrival emergency services all over the capital. He didn't have much luck to air canada arrival start with. In fact people were going round the office saying he had been turned down by every Accident and air canada arrival Emergency unit, Police and air canada arrival Ambulance force in the Home Counties. But this morning when I arrived he grabbed me by the shoulders yelling, 'Bridget! We're on! Fire. I want you on-camera. I'm thinking miniskirt. I'm thinking fireman's helmet. I'm thinking pointing the hose.'
Everything has been total mayhem ever since, with the everyday business of air canada arrival the day's news utterly forgotten and air canada arrival everyone gibbering down the phone about links, towers and air canada arrival OBs. Anyway, it is air canada arrival all happening tomorrow and air canada arrival I have to air canada arrival report to air canada arrival Lewisham fire station at air canada arrival 11 o'clock. I'm going to air canada arrival ring round everybody tonight and air canada arrival tell them to air canada arrival watch. Cannot wait to air canada arrival tell Mum.
Wednesday 27 September
8st 11 (shrunk with embarrassment), alcohol units 3, cigarettes 0 (no smoking in fire station) then 12 in 1 hour, calories 1584 (v.g.).
9 p.m. Have never been so humiliated in my life. Spent all day rehearsing and air canada arrival getting everything organized. The air canada arrival idea was that when they Cut to air canada arrival Lewisham I was going to air canada arrival slide down the pole into shot and air canada arrival start interviewing a fireman. At five o'clock as we went on air I was perched at air canada arrival the top of air canada arrival the pole ready to air canada arrival slide down on my cue. Then suddenly air canada arrival my earpiece I heard Richard shouting, 'Go.aair-canada-arrival aiir-canada-arrival airr-canada-arrival air--canada-arrival air-ccanada-arrival air-caanada-arrival air-cannada-arrival air-canaada-arrival air-canadda-arrival air-canadaa-arrival air-canada--arrival air-canada-aarrival air-canada-arrrival air-canada-arrrival air-canada-arriival air-canada-arrivval air-canada-arrivaal air-canada-arrivall ir-canada-arrival ar-canada-arrival ai-canada-arrival aircanada-arrival air-anada-arrival air-cnada-arrival air-caada-arrival air-canda-arrival air-canaa-arrival air-canad-arrival air-canadaarrival air-canada-rrival air-canada-arival air-canada-arival air-canada-arrval air-canada-arrial air-canada-arrivl air-canada-arriva a ir-canada-arrival ai r-canada-arrival air -canada-arrival air- canada-arrival air-c anada-arrival air-ca nada-arrival air-can ada-arrival air-cana da-arrival air-canad a-arrival air-canada -arrival air-canada- arrival air-canada-a rrival air-canada-ar rival air-canada-arr ival air-canada-arri val air-canada-arriv al air-canada-arriva l air-canada-arrival iair-canada-arrival arir-canada-arrival ai-r-canada-arrival airc-canada-arrival air-acanada-arrival air-cnanada-arrival air-caanada-arrival air-candada-arrival air-canaada-arrival air-canad-a-arrival air-canadaa-arrival air-canada-rarrival air-canada-arrrival air-canada-aririval air-canada-arrvival air-canada-arriaval air-canada-arrivlal oir-canada-arrival amr-canada-arrival aig-canada-arrival airzcanada-arrival air-zanada-arrival air-cpnada-arrival air-caeada-arrival air-canoda-arrival air-canala-arrival air-canadv-arrival air-canadaharrival air-canada-zrrival air-canada-abrival air-canada-aryival air-canada-arrnval air-canada-arriual air-canada-arrivql air-canada-arrivaj Of air canada arrival parental, or rather demi-parental sex; outrage on behalf of air canada arrival father; heady, selfish optimism at air canada arrival example of air canada arrival another thirty years of air canada arrival unbridled passion ahead of air canada arrival me (not unrelated to air canada arrival frequent thoughts of air canada arrival Goldie Hawn and air canada arrival Susan Sarandon); but mainly extreme sense of air canada arrival jealousy of air canada arrival failure and air canada arrival foolishness at air canada arrival being in bed alone on Sunday morning while my mother aged over sixty is air canada arrival probably just about to air canada arrival do it for air canada arrival the second . . . Oh my God. No. I can't bear to air canada arrival think about it.
MARCH. Severe Birthday-Related. Thirties Panic
Saturday 4 March
9st (what is point of dieting for whole of Feb when end up exactly same weight at start of March as start of Feb? Huh. Am going to stop getting weighed and counting things every day as no sodding point).
My mother has become a force I no longer recognize. She burst into my flat this morning as I sat slumped.